Falling With Style
I’ve noticed that I tend to post most of my updates when I’m struggling. I said I was in free fall, and I scared a few people. It earned me some hugs and concerned questions at church yesterday.
I wasn’t bluffing, but I failed to mention the good part. The rush, the anticipation of the journey back up. Slower, but so much better. My stomach is back where it belongs, and I’m not getting off the ride. I’m going over the next hill with my hands up.
I have thirteen episodes on Vella, and I’m establishing a routine. This is difficult for me. I’m a pantser, a project hopper, a total brat. I write what I want, when I want. But no more. Now I have to figure out how to balance my episode schedule, the writing of season four, getting my illustrator to start on the cover of Sam and Millie, converting my even longer series (Collected) into episodic form, and all the CG leader and mom/wife stuff. Not in that order.
I do my quiet time first thing in the morning. Bible Recap first, then other studies. Re:generation, WBS, gratitude journal, prayer list, then the really good stuff. Talking to God. I’ve come so far. Months ago, I had lost my faith that He was good. Now I curl up and cry from relief at how I trust Him. My prayers are sometimes just lists of all the things I can see that I didn’t see before. And that’s why my hands are up.
My Vellas and my books may never be read, but I will be satisfied. Now I’m free.