I’ve known of Vella’s impending doom (officially closing in February) for a few months, but I held off on announcing it because it didn’t seem worth mentioning.
Losses come in clumps for me. In 2020, I lost my foster daughter and my ministry within two months of each other. While most of my wailing during that time was focused on Izzy, I had enough brainpower left over to grieve the closed church doors as well. Both losses hurt, and closer to equally than I would have admitted at the time.
But the current clump has a clear winner. And it’s not Vella.
Mom
There are few things you care about losing while you’re losing your mother.
01/06/1954 – 10/02/2024
When I read the email from Amazon, I shrugged and swiped it away. Mom was in ICU. Her rapid decline was all I could think about.
I didn’t write. Didn’t publish. Didn’t check if the crown sat atop my most popular book. Didn’t care that what I’d been doing for two years was about to poof.
The Zon Giveth, and the Zon Taketh Away
A few months after losing my mom, I finally asked myself how I felt about Amazon’s decision.
Ross sums it up pretty well:
I’m an outlier, as usual. Many of my peers found the news distressing. But for me, Vella’s demise brings the same relief as the canceling of a show I’ve stopped enjoying but can’t stop watching.
It’s About Time!
Part of being a good writer is knowing when to shut up. Always leave the audience wishing for more.
I will forever be thankful for the experience Vella gave me. I put myself out there, got some great feedback, made a little cash, and met some incredible people. But I was ready to go.
I’m glad Vella’s poofing, because it might be the only way I was going to leave. This doesn’t feel like loss. It feels like escape.
What’s Next?
My plans could change, but right now I’m thinking I’ll publish at least one of my books here on my website. Free! Which is exactly how I feel.